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Writer's pictureSamm Starrs
Aug 9, 20243 min read

Not All Therapy Is Equal: Relational Psychotherapy



Relational Psychotherapy

The Who of Relational Psychotherapy

Relational Psychotherapy has evolved over time with Jean Baker Miller, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, focusing on the psychology of women and the role of relationships in the 1970s and 1980s. She introduced the concept of relational-cultural theory, highlighting the importance of connection and growth. This work has significantly influenced relational psychotherapy. Stephen A. Mitchell is often considered the pioneer in relational psychoanalysis as he played a crucial role in shaping it. He emphasized the mutual and co-constructed nature of the therapeutic relationship, challenging the traditional one-person psychology model. Lastly, Judy Jordan and the Stone Center Group further developed relational-cultural theory with an emphasis on the centrality of relationships in psychological well-being. They introduced concepts such as mutual empathy and relational resilience.



The What of Relational Psychotherapy

Relational psychotherapy is a therapeutic approach that emphasizes the importance of relationships and interpersonal dynamics in the development and resolution of psychological issues. It is rooted in the understanding that relationships with others profoundly influences human development and mental health. The approach integrates principles from various psychodynamic, humanistic, and interpersonal theories.


The core processes of relational psychotherapy include:

  • Mutual Empathy: This process involves both the therapist and the client experiencing and expressing empathy within the therapeutic relationship. Mutual empathy fosters a deep understanding and connection, promoting healing and growth.

  • Relational Authenticity: Encouraging genuine and authentic interactions between the therapist and the client. The therapist models authenticity, which helps the client develop their own sense of authenticity and self-awareness.

  • Intersubjectivity: Recognizing that both the therapist and the client bring their own subjective experiences to the therapeutic relationship. This process emphasizes the co-creation of meaning and understanding within the therapeutic dyad.

  • Exploration of Relational Patterns: Identifying and examining the client's relational patterns and how they influence their current relationships and emotional well-being. This process helps clients understand and transform maladaptive relational dynamics.

  • Relational Resilience: Building the client's capacity to form and maintain healthy, supportive relationships. This involves developing skills such as effective communication, boundary setting, and conflict resolution.

  • Mutual Growth: Recognizing that both the therapist and the client can experience personal growth and transformation through the therapeutic relationship. This process emphasizes the reciprocal nature of healing and development.


Relational psychotherapy is particularly beneficial for individuals who have experienced relational trauma or who struggle with maintaining healthy relationships, as it emphasizes the transformative potential of authentic, empathic connections. It is effective for a wide range of mental health conditions including depression, anxiety especially social anxiety, Trauma and PTSD especially that related to interpersonal trauma and cPTSD, Personality Disorders, Interpersonal Difficulties and Self-Esteem or Identity issues.


Relational psychotherapy continues to evolve, integrating insights from various disciplines and emphasizing the co-created nature of the therapeutic relationship. It focuses on the healing potential of authentic, empathic connections between therapist and client and seeks to understand how relational patterns influence mental health and personal growth.


Books on Relational Psychotherapy

Relational Concepts in Psychoanalysis - Stephen A. Mitchell

Toward a New Psychology of Women - Jean Baker Miller

Relational Psychotherapy: A Primer - Patricia A. DeYoung

Relational Psychotherapy: A Manual - David J. Wallin

Relational-Cultural Therapy - Judith V. Jordan

Relational Psychoanalysis: A Reader - edited by Stephen A. Mitchell and Lewis Aron

Relational Theory and the Practice of Psychotherapy - Paul L. Wachtel

Relational Psychotherapy, Psychoanalysis, and Counseling: Essays and Interviews - Del Loewenthal


Parting Words

Like all the therapies I've written about so far, found in my master blog Not All Therapy Is Equal: A Series, this therapy won't be for everyone. It is important to remember that if you are seeking therapeutic help you must find a good fit for you, both in the type of therapy you choose for yourself and in the therapist who practises it. You matter. Your mental health matters and you deserve to feel the best you possibly can feel.



Samm the Creative Alchemist


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